I'll Procrastinate In A Minute

I'm not attending University this week.  This week is what is termed a 'reading week' - in short there's an assignment due and this is the week to get it cracked.

That's the theory anyway, in reality I've typed about 100 words towards the word-count of a 5000 word essay (meaning I now have about 200 words written) and watched countless YouTube videos that have nothing whatsoever with the topic I'm supposed to be writing about.  I've not been lazy though, Twitter and Facebook have been heavily invested in as has Netflix and Amazon Video.

 That's not to say that I've not given the essay any thought. On the contrary, I'm lying awake at night stressing and worrying about how much I have to do and promising that 'tomorrow' is when I will get it done.  I've been promising that since last Friday.

I study psychology so I know all about 'the procrastination effect', I know the negative effects associated with it - tension, stress, guilt, anxiety, fear, etc, etc.  I know that the easiest way to avoid the negative effects is to start doing the task that is required, that putting it off will only increase these negative effects and that the more I put it off the harder it will be to start actually doing it.

I know these things.

So if I know these things, and I know that the easiest, best way to overcome and avoid these things is to actively begin doing the task that I have been putting off actively avoiding, then why am I not doing it?  Because...reasons?  Because simple, non-taxing activities mean that I can pretend to myself that there's not a monumental task to be completed?

No, the reason I'm not doing it is because I'm simply human.  Understanding what I'm doing and how it's hurting me in the long run doesn't seem to be a compelling enough reason to cease this negative behaviour.  And it is negative behaviour.  And I'm a Doctoral student trying to be a Counselling Psychologist so if I am having trouble breaking the cycle how can I expect anyone else to?

Maybe I'll think about it tomorrow...